The Merry Misogynist

Phosy asked.
    Daeng laughed. “How could I stop him? You know Siri as well as I do. I could say, ‘Siri, please don’t go’ and he’d go anyway, and we’d both feel bad. Or I could give him my blessing and a bag of noodles for the journey, and only I’d feel bad.”
    “You’re each as ornery and obstinate as the other,” he yelled above the drone of the engine. “When you first suspected it might have something to do with the Census Department you should have contacted me straight away. I’m sick of you two playing detective.”
    “You weren’t here. Your office was empty. Somebody had to play policeman.”
    “There were other officers around.”
    “Like them?” Daeng nodded to the rear-view mirror. Phosy looked at the hairless faces of the two young men he’d snatched from headquarters. They were still twenty kilometres from their destination, and they already looked as if they might wet themselves with fear. “What would they have done?”
    “And what, tell me, is a seventy-three-year-old man going to do?”
    “You have a short memory, Phosy. Just how many of your cases have been solved by the doctor?”
    Phosy didn’t answer. He sulked all the way past the intersection. The window wipers smeared an omelette of insects across the thick glass. The jeep listed left and right as it negotiated the deep truck furrows. Eventually the policeman deigned to speak.
    “I think he’s got this one wrong,” he said.
    “Why so?”
    “The girl up in the north – the case I went up there to investigate – it happened way back in ‘69. The Census Department was run by the old regime in those days. There’s nobody left from that era.”
    “I’ve been thinking about that too, Phosy. Siri placed this man Buaphan’s accent as from the central region, and cultured. I can’t work out what someone like that is doing working for the Republic on an official project. The doctor suggested he might be from an influential family that had bought him a position. If that’s so, he might well have spent time up north with the Royalists during the war. He might have been an engineer or something. Plus she might have been his first victim. If he started his killing spree back then he wouldn’t have needed the Census Department job as a pretext to move around and attack these girls. There was chaos. He would have had ample opportunity. He liked it so much he got a job with the new regime so he could continue his hobby.”
    “You think somebody high profile would take such a gamble?”
    “Why not, Phosy? You’ve seen how arrogant he is. He believes he’s better than all of us. He’s planned it all so carefully. He can’t imagine anyone catching him. In his mind, he’s God.”

16
SWIMMING THROUGH ROCKS
    P han sat naked and cross-legged beneath the tree he’d selected on his previous visit. He welcomed the ravenous red ants and vampiric mosquitoes that chewed at his flesh. Eventually they too would learn he was invincible. By the light of the candles he looked through the documents one last time: the registration of marriage, the housing certificate, the laissez-passers, permission from the Social Relations office, bank statements, a police letter verifying that he was unmarried and not wanted for any crimes, birth certificate, Party membership record, and, just for icing on the cake, a full curriculum vitae .
    He lay back on the itchy grass and sighed. How wonderful it was to live in a state where the actual person was no longer important. Everything existed only on paper, including him. A man who merely walked the earth with nothing but breath and a strong beating heart was no longer a man in the Democratic Republic of Laos. God had been replaced by an earthbound bookkeeper .
    “ I carry identification, therefore I am,” he said. And in this incarnation he was Phumphan Bourom of the Irrigation Department: a senior engineer with a degree from East Germany. He would overwhelm the village with his paperwork, let them mull over it, knowing there was no way for them to verify its authenticity before the wedding. It was all signed and stamped by respected cadres in the capital. The village heads would co-sign the forms and give the go-ahead for a ceremony that had already been planned. It was inevitable because the responsibility had been removed from their shoulders. There was nothing a local administrator liked more than having someone else make decisions for him .
    Than sat up on his elbows and looked for