The Twelve Kingdoms: Shadow of the Moon

much?"
    "Oh, yes. I'm sorry."
    "It doesn't hurt any more?"
    "No. It's healed up fine." She showed her the fading scar in her hand. She wondered if either of them would notice that the wound had healed much faster than normal.
    Gyokuyou glanced up at her mother. "She says it's healed," she said.
    Her mother's eyes brightened. "That's wonderful. After we got to Bakurou, we wanted to come back and find you. But by the time we arrived, the gates were already closing and none of the guards had the guts to go out after nightfall. Are you looking for someone?"
    Youko nodded.
    "We're headed for Goryou as well. Do you want to come with?"
    Youko could only shake her head, no.
    "Well, then," the mother said. She took her daughter by the hand. "Gyokuyou, let's go to the inn." Then she looked at Youko. "Who are you searching for? A hanjuu, isn't it?"
    Youko stared at her.
    "He'd probably be in one of the government buildings, or around in the back. What's his name?"
    "His name is Rakushun."
    She hitched up the big pack on her back and said, almost as if in passing, "You stay here and we'll go and see."
    Youko bowed deeply. "Thank you."

    It was toward sundown when the woman returned, alone. She reported that she hadn't found anybody called Rakushun among the living or the dead and then hurried back to the city. She gave no indication that she understood the details of Youko's actual circumstances.

Chapter 46
    H aving confirmed this much, Youko gave up on the effort. Maybe Rakushun had left the city without her knowledge. Maybe the woman had overlooked him. There was no way for her to know for sure.
    Standing on the highway outside Goryou, Youko faced the city and bowed. She understood only that this was some sort of divine retribution. And that here, in this place, she had come at last to the line she could not cross.

    She traveled during the night, slept during the day. Her old life resumed. Having traveled this way so often, Youko's experiences of this country were of nothing but night.
    Because Rakushun had been carrying the purse, she had no money. The nights she spent fighting the youma, the days she spent sleeping hungry in the undergrowth. The days all ran together. She didn't have time to feel sorry for herself. This time around she had a goal, she had a destination. She was going to Agan and then sailing to the Kingdom of En. She couldn't be bothered to think about anything other than how she could come up with the money for the voyage.
    After the old kaikyaku in Takkyuu ripped her off, Youko figured she'd wandered around for at least a month. With nothing to eat or drink, drawing on the powers of the jewel, that had proved her limit. With that understanding, this time around she was far more confident than on her previous adventures.
    The blue monkey did not reappear. Since reclaiming the scabbard, the visions had gone dormant as well. The faint sounds of falling water would chime and light would shine out of the narrow gap where the scabbard rested against the hilt, but she didn't dare to draw the sword from the scabbard to see what the visions had in store for her. Instead, she forged on in silence, persistently pushing herself forward.
    What a despicable thing to do. Do you really think your own life is so precious?
    As she walked along, the blue monkey's words echoed in her heart. He was the substance of her own conscience to begin with, so she didn't need him around to hear his voice clearly.
    "Yes, it is."
    But still the kind of life that throws a Good Samaritan to the wolves, no?
    "It may not be worth much, but right now it's the only life I've got. That's the way it is."
    You should have turned yourself in. That would have made up for everything, no?
    "I'll consider it once I get to En."
    It seemed she could even hear the monkey's cackling laughter. In other words, your life is the only life that matters around here.
    "You got it. As long as I'm being hunted down, staying alive is what counts. Once I don't have that to worry about anymore, once I'm back to living a real life, on my own terms, then I'll think about what sort of life I should be living. Then I'll have time to think things over and make amends."
    Right now, all that mattered was staying alive.
    And killing youma and putting people to the sword.
    "For the time being, I don't have a choice. The only thing worth thinking about is getting to En as quickly as possible, no time for detours. If I can get to En, then at least I'll be able to face my