Watch Me Disappear

doing her evil bidding.” I say.
    “Where does she get off?”
    “Look, Missy, obviously what they did was wrong, but as far as they’re concerned, you got the prize. Maura will cool off in a few days and it’ll all blow over,” I say, but I’m not sure I believe it.
    “Do you really think so?”
    “Do you really think the teachers are going to let people pelt you with milk bones every day?”
    “It’s not like they’re paying attention,” she says. “They certainly didn’t seem to notice today.”
    “Maybe you should take a break from Facebook,” I say.
    “I’m not going to let them bully me. If they don’t like what I post, they don’t have to read it.”
    “Well, what do you want me to do then?”
    “Nothing, whatever. I just thought you’d be sympathetic. I really wished you were at school today. I never see Paul all day. It was like I was just all by myself. I think Wes and some of his friends joined in the barking.”
    I have a hard time picturing myself standing up for Missy even if I had been there. I remember the way she came to my side at the battle of the bands, not afraid to put herself in the middle of things. I’m not like that. What would I have done if I had been at school? Maybe just walking through the hall with her would have been enough to deter them. A girl all by herself is an easy target. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’ve had a crazy day, too.”
    Missy suddenly remembers that I have been on college visits, and she cheers right up and begins bombarding me with questions about the day. When we get off the phone, I can’t help but resent how nice Missy is, how easily she forgives my flaws, and even on such a bad day, takes time to ask me about my day. She is too perfect, which I know is an absurd criticism, a terrible reason to be angry with someone, but that’s how I feel. I want to call Paul, but I can’t bring myself to dial his number.
     
    *          *          *
     
    In the morning I ask Maura about Jessica and Katherine’s campaign against Missy. She laughs. “They are too hilarious,” she says.
    “Yeah but it’s pretty mean.”
    “Sticks and stones,” Maura says, as if that answers for everything. “Anyway, like I said before, he’s going to get sick of her pretty fast. Either he’ll get tired of waiting for her to break her virginal ways or he’ll screw her and be done with her.”
    “I just don’t see the point in your torturing her,” I say quietly.
    “I’m not. I can’t control Katherine and Jessica, though.”
    “Right.”
    “Hey, I’m telling you, now that they’re together, they’re not going to find much time for you. You might as well cut your losses. You’re always welcome to hang out with me, though. We had our rocky start, but I’m here for you, Lizzie,” she says.
    When we go into school, Paul is waiting at my locker. “Hear the good news?” he asks.
    “Yep, you don’t need me anymore,” I say.
    “Lizzie,” he says, clasping his hands in front of his heart, “I’m hurt.” His eyes twinkle and he smirks. “As long as your mom is willing to feed me, I’ll always need you.”
    “Missy’s mom’s a better cook,” I say, shutting my locker and taking off down the hall.
    He keeps pace with me.
    “No, seriously,” he says. “Maybe I started talking to you to get in good with Missy, but we’re way past that now. We’re friends. You’re like one of the guys.”
    The look on my face must tell him that was the wrong thing to say.
    “Only better,” he continues in a rush. “None of the guys is half the conversationalist you are.” He flashes me his winning smile. Sometimes his belief that he can charm his way out of any situation is infuriating.
    “Yeah, we’ll see,” I say.
    “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    “Now that you and Missy have each other, we’ll see if you still need little Lizzie.”
    “Well I already know how that’s going to work out.”
    “Oh yeah? You want to come over tonight?” I ask.
    His face turns red.
    “Or are you going to Missy’s?”
    “You can come, too,” he says.
    “I had enough of being the third wheel with Missy and Wes.”
    “All right, but I’ll come to your house Sunday,” he says. “We can do our homework.”
    “Swell,” I say, turning into my first period class. I am so angry when I sit down that I don’t hear a word the teacher says for the first half of class.
     
    *          *          *
     
    That night when