You Look Different in Real Life

not me. I need to make sure the distasteful thing we’re about to do, have all somehow agreed to do, is a distasteful thing I can mentally prepare for.
    Felix is next to arrive. He winks at me, hugs Leslie quickly, then moves over to Lance and Kenny.
    Rory enters right after him. She looks at me and registers absolutely no reaction, which for her doesn’t necessarily mean a damn thing, but still. Ouch.
    “The folks at Independent Eye aren’t completely satisfied with what we’ve shot so far,” said Leslie after we got out of the movie that night. “That one little bit we got with you and Rory was the best. They want you interacting.”
    Maybe I agreed because I feel so responsible for this turn of events. As for the others? Nate and Felix—no surprise there. Rory, as always, is willing to go along with anything if it makes people happy. And Keira. Well, that’s a mystery.
    Here she comes now. Nate too. He’s got his hand protectively on her back and I feel this instant Huh? Of course, they’re friends. I know that. But there’s something about the way he leans his body toward hers, a graceful curve, that seems truly intimate.
    Nate smiles at Rory, who gives him the same non-look she gave me. He registers Felix and looks instantly, nervously, away. He must see me out of the corner of hiseye, but he does not turn.
    Yeah, this is going to be a blast.
    But it’s Keira who surprises me. She bends down to set her leather messenger bag on the floor, and when she stands up, her face is neon-bright with energy.
    “Hey, girl,” she practically sings to Leslie, and they kiss each other on the cheek. Then Keira turns to see Rory standing on the other side of Leslie.
    “Rory,” she says warmly, like she hasn’t ignored her in the hallway every day for years but is seeing her for the first time in a long while and oh, she’s missed her so very much. Rory smiles shyly. Even Rory knows that when Keira Jones talks to you, it’s a big deal.
    I’m ready for her to ignore me like Nate did, and suddenly my left thumbnail desperately needs to be picked at. But Keira approaches, her arms outstretched.
    “Justine, hi,” she says, and gives me the quickest of hugs. I’m not sure her hands actually touch my body, but the motion is there, swift and expert, and I’m guessing that’s supposed to count. The shadow of our almost-girlfight in the bathroom that day flickers across her face.
    Now there’s an awkward moment where nobody is doing anything, and Leslie feels the need to proclaim.
    “I can’t believe you’re all here. In one place! The fact that you were up for this . . . well, it means a lot to Lance and me. And it’ll mean a lot to the film and, eventually, the audience.”
    “Do you guys remember where you sat?” Lance asks. “In kindergarten?”
    I do, and I know Felix does, but I want to see who else might.
    “Yes,” pipes up Rory. “It went Felix, Keira, Nate, Justine, and me.”
    We stand silent for a moment, and then, Rory goes to the table and sits down at one of the chairs. Felix laughs, and Rory looks confused, but his smile is warm and unfiltered as he goes to sit next to her. Then Keira goes to her chair, next to Felix, and Nate moves to the other side of her. Now it’s my turn to get on my mark in between Nate and Rory.
    Nate does not acknowledge me as I sit. I look around the table and realize Felix is the only person here who doesn’t hate me.
    “Oh, this is great,” says Lance, as if talking to his camera. “The shot is beautiful. Books and posters in the background. Light is perfect.”
    Now Leslie is leaning in next to me, addressing the group. “I’ll ask you some questions, and you can answer me, if you want. I’ll be moving around with the second camera. But the point is for you to speak to one another. I may even remind you to do that.”
    We’re all quiet. I’m guessing because the situation is so insane, there are no words.
    “Oh, I almost forgot.” She grabs a brown paper grocerybag from the floor and starts to unpack it. There’s bottles of juice and sports drinks, and cookies.
    “There’s no eating in the library,” says Rory.
    “Special permission,” says Leslie.
    I can guess what the snacks are for. To keep our hands busy. To give us something to fidget with. If our hands can move, our bodies won’t. It looks better. As we reach for the drinks, Nate and I try to grab the same bottle, something pink called BerryLuscious. Our wrists bang and Nate jerks his