Behind the Albergue Door: Inspiration Agony Adventure on the Camino de Santiago

kilometres” was hardly worthy getting wet over.
    23. Don’t get all skittish if you end up in a double bed with a stranger
    Some of the dorms tried to squeeze more beds into the same room by pushing two sets of bunk beds together, essentially creating two double beds. Not a problem in and of itself. The problems tended to arise when they seemed to delight in sticking perfect strangers together on these intimate contraptions, creating all sorts of confusing etiquette issues, mingled night clothes and unrequited sexual tension.
    Laynni and I ended up sharing one of these makeshift doubles a couple times and for us, the old married couple, the situation was more or less just handy. No need to be so careful about keeping our stuff on the right bed. And for the apparently quite new “spring-fall” couple below us in Belorado it was a great opportunity to lick the inside of each other’s mouths for a good long while. But for Madeline, being stuck side by side with a seemingly mute Canadian girl in Santo Doming de Calzada, it involved a lot of one-way small talk and uncomfortable staring. You just never know.
    24. Don’t be afraid to move
    It is 4:30 in the afternoon. It was a long, hot day of hiking. You just finished unpacking your stuff and showering. Now you’re ready to settle in for a well-deserved nap. You lay down. You close your eyes. Suddenly you hear something. The old guy two beds over is snoring… already. You get that sinking feeling in your gut, like when you realize you left your keys on the metro next to the guy with the pierced chin. Now is not the time to worry about pride, or hurt feelings, or having to touch your wet socks with your clean hands. Pack it up and get the hell out of there. There’s no telling what the next room will hold, except that it won’t be that guy.
    25. Don’t stick around too long in the morning
    First of all, most albergues insist you be gone by 8 am anyway so they can prepare for their big day of supervising the check-in book and napping. Secondly, you will find no comfort in being around to witness what passes for “cleaning” in most albergues. When we lingered a little too long at the grotty old monastery in San Juan de Ortega, the one with the cold, echoing rooms and nasty bathrooms with no door on the shower, we were unfortunate enough to spot the hospitalero walking from bed to bed briefly straightening sheets and fluffing pillows for about five minutes before retiring back to his welcome desk with a satisfied smile and already heavy eyes.
    26. You may need to plan ahead
    We started our hike on October 1 st and only ever saw one albergue get lined up. In fact, a bigger issue towards the end was that some of the albergues were closing for the season, which reduced our options but never caused any problematic bed shortages. But if you were to start your hike in mid-September or earlier there is a very real chance that finding a bed each night will become your number one worry, even more stressful than deciding which superhero should adorn your wearing-around-the-dorm underwear. And slowly but surely you will find yourself leaving earlier and earlier every morning, and stopping earlier and earlier each day, and eventually placing such importance on having a bed that you start taking photos of them to send to all your friends, until one morning you actually find yourself unable to tear yourself away from your bed, shaking, sobbing and announcing your intention to run away to Cabo with it, regardless of whether those marriages are legally binding back in the U.S. or not. It’s not pretty.
    Therefore, my best advice to deal with this problem: hike outside the busy times.
    Second best advice: Find a cow with some time on her hands and get her to teach you how to sleep standing up. I’m only kidding – I’ve never met a cow that didn’t have plenty of time on her hands.
    27. Teach yourself a second language while you sleep
    It’s all about making lemonade when life gives you lemons. When the French guy at the foot of your bed spends half the night muttering French phrases related to various methods of contracting venereal diseases, protectively covering his groin with his pillow and sporadically yelping, just look at it as your chance to learn a little Francais to impress your friends and antagonize former lovers.
    28. Lights out at 10 pm
    Sometimes. Sometimes 10:30. Occasionally even 11. After a particularly rough day, maybe 9:30. I guess it would be more