Days of Love and Blood

uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to.”
    “You didn’t.”
    “It was just strange, you know? For me to meet someone like you - in all of this. I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I was - I feel drawn to you.”
    “ Drawn? To me?”
    “ I don’t mean that in a weird way.” He stopped short a few inches from me and leaned against the trailer. “You just fascinate me. I hadn’t seen anyone in so long and suddenly there were all these people and you - and you saved my life.”
    “You would have done the same.”
    “I want to know about you. That’s all.”
    “Why?” It sounded ruder than I meant.
    “I’m sorry if I was a little too eager the other night. Honestly, I was just curious. I still am.”
    “ There’s nothing to tell, Ben. I’ve been through a lot. I lost my husband but I don’t want to talk about it. As a general rule of thumb, don’t ask people about their stories or what they’ve gone through. Most of us don’t like talking about it. At least, I don’t. Maybe others do, I don’t know.”
    “Do you ever want someone to talk to?” he said while looking up at the sky. I followed his line of sight to the patterns of clouds hovering above us in the afternoon sky. Sometimes I did want to talk. But only to someone I felt comfortable with. Someone who didn’t push me. Someone who didn’t interrogate me so that I was free to say what I wanted and say as much or as little as I needed without feeling scrutinized.
    “I’m sorry,” I sighed. “Do you want to talk about something that happened, Ben?”
    “Nice deflection.”
    “Wasn’t it?” I smiled. He smiled back at me. I didn’t know what else to say.
    “Mom, I’m here!”
    “Thank you, honey. Get inside, please.” Ronan jumped up the steps and the camper shook with his energy.
    “Wait,” Ben said when I silently turned my back on him.
    “I have to go.”
    “One minute.”
    “For what?”
    “I’m not trying to get in your pants, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He chuckled by himself and nervously ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m just looking for a friend.” I moved my eyes upward from where they had been defiantly locked onto his shirt emblem and finally met his eyes. They were clean, honest. “It’s been pretty lonely for a long time.”
    “Weren’t you with that guy the whole time? Your friend, the one you showed up with?”
    “Leo,” he laughed. “What a character. Actually, no. More of a non-character.”
    “He doesn’t say much, does he?”
    “Imagine three months of that. In a car. With no one else. Not even a radio.”
    “I see your point,” I groaned and Ben tilted his head back to laugh.
    “Finally seeing people - I don’t know. I’m a little too eager and I want to know about everyone. I feel a little crazy or something. Definitely not right in the head. So if I do anything stupid again, just let me know.”
    “I think that’s normal,” I counter ed. “Isolation can turn you into a whack job.”
    “What’s the remedy?”
    “You found it.”
    “You?” He inched closer in a comical way.
    “I meant all of us. Nice try.”
    I grinned playfully and Ben lightly touched my arm. I flinched but that didn’t stop his fingers from moving down to my wrist and then to my hand which he cupped in his own. The hairs rose on my arms at his light touch. I had let down my guard and he took advantage. A blast from Cooper’s truck horn caused me to jerk my hand away.
    Cooper hung his arm out the window and leaned out slightly, staring in our direction. I stopped and waited for him to come charging. But he didn’t. Even from the distance I could tell he was looking at me, not Ben. I couldn’t distinguish the look but his dead stare and clenched jaw reminded me of pain or disgust. Maybe both. Cooper revved the engine several times before slamming the accelerator, racing out of my view. Within a few seconds, he was gone.
    He left. He saw Ben. He saw him touch me. And he left.
    Jayde was right.
    I took a deep breath and stumbled backwards. I brought my hand up to my face and pinched the bridge of my nose.
    “Are you alright?”
    “Fine,” I respond ed. “I’m fine.”
    “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you and that guy but it doesn’t look too good.”
    “Don’t,” I warned.
    “Maybe you shouldn’t be alone,” he suggested.
    “Cassie’s in the camper,” I said. “I have Cassie. And my son. I’m not alone.”
    “ Okay,” he conceded. “But you should