Light in the Shadows

              Three hours away from the center and I was already losing it.  I cut across the sea of people and practically ran into the restroom.  Thank god it was mercifully empty.  I ran water in the sink and splashed my face. Running my hands through my hair and along the back of my neck in an effort to calm down.
                    I needed to control my breathing.  It was then that I realized I hadn’t taken my medication yet.  I dug through my laptop bag and pulled out the small brown bottle.  Popping the top I shook two pills into my palm.  I swallowed them quickly, without water. 
                  I thought about taking some of my anxiety medication but I had been hesitant to do so.  So instead, I chose the pep talk route and waited for the Tegretol to kick in, hoping that had the desired effect.
                    I fished my cellphone out of my pocket and realized I had been in the bathroom for almost fifteen minutes.  Ruby was probably starting to worry.  I picked up my bag and headed back toward the baggage carousel. 
                    I saw Ruby before she saw me.  She was sitting on a bench, watching people as they walked by, obviously looking for me.  She looked like shit.  I know that’s a messed up thing to say, but God it was true.  She looked like she had lost ten pounds, her clothes that she wore big anyway, were practically swimming on her. 
                    Her long, red hair was dull and lifeless and I saw the beginnings of grey around her temples and scalp.  She looked…old.  And that freaked me out.  Ruby had always been strong and capable.  She was the rock I had always needed.  Staring at my aunt, I realized she wasn’t my rock anymore. And that I was going to have to suck it up and be the rock for her.
                    “Ruby,” I called out.  She turned her head in the direction of my voice and I was relieved to see some of the old sparkle come back into her listless eyes.  She got to her feet and held her arms out for me.
                    I walked into them and hugged her.  “I’m so glad you’re here,” she breathed out as she held me.  I let her hold on, knowing she wasn’t ready to let go yet.  She felt smaller, almost as though she had shrunk in on herself.  It worried me.
                    Finally I pulled back and she tried to give me a smile.  It didn’t come close to reaching her eyes.  But I took what I could get.  I found my suitcase quickly and followed her out of the airport. 
                    Once outside I shivered.  God damn it was cold.  I had gotten too used to southern Florida and the days that never dipped below seventy degrees.  Shit, this was like walking into a freezer. 
                    “I hope you remembered to bring a coat.  We’ve had an unseasonable cold snap.  They’re actually calling for snow tonight.  The seasons are all messed up.  And some people have the audacity to say that global warming is a myth,” Ruby said, clearly trying her hardest to make things normal.
                    But there was no such thing as normal.  That was the myth.  I had fought long and hard for something that I now realized didn’t exist.  And boy was that depressing.  I took a deep breath.  I swear the air just smelled different in Virginia.  I wasn’t sure what it was, but it just felt like…well, home.
                    I put my arm around my aunt’s shoulders and walked quietly with her to the car.  “Why don’t you let me drive?” I suggested, holding my hand out for the car keys.  Ruby looked exhausted and I didn’t want to admit to her that on a good day her driving scared the piss out of me.  But seeing her like this, barely able to put one foot in front of the other, there was no way I was letting her behind the wheel.
                    Ruby didn’t argue as she dropped the two pound key ring into my palm.  I sorted through the mess of spare keys and random trinkets until I found the one for her Volvo.  I got into the driver’s side and looked over to see that Ruby was standing in the open door, not moving.
                    “Ruby?” I said her name more as a question.  Mostly because I hated to see my aunt, who used to be so full of life, reduced to this shell of a person.  It pissed me off that