Lost in You

going to tell anyone, but I’d at least like to think of you as my girlfriend and you think of me as your boyfriend.”
    I start laughing. I can’t help it. We think so much alike it’s scary. He tries to pull back, but I don’t let him. I move into his arms, whether he wanted me there or not. I sit on his lap, facing him. His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer.
    “I want to call you my boyfriend. Hell, I want to walk down the busiest street holding your hand and sharing a cookie, but we have to wait for that to happen. I’m telling you, Ryan, the day you turn eighteen, everyone is going to know you’ve got me.”
    “My birthday is still months away. Who says we’re still going to be together?”
    “I say.”
    For the next hour or so we make-out. Clothes stay on and hands stay on the outside. We both had to stop a few times, especially when his hand brushed against my breast. I had to fight every urge I had to lean in and remove my shirt so he could touch me properly. Or when I pushed myself into his hard-on and he hissed, I knew I had gone too far.
    Being held by him, though, that makes all of this worth it. We fit together.
    “I have something to ask you.”
    Ryan leans up on his elbow, hovering over me. “I think I’m supposed to ask you to prom, since it’s my school.”
    I push him lightly. He falls back, taking me with him. He holds me tight to his chest. I rest my head there, listening to his heartbeat. “Prom would be fun. I didn’t go to mine.”
    “Will you go to prom with me, Hadley Carter?”
    I sit up enough to look at him. He’s smiling. “I’d be honored. And now I have something to ask.”
    Ryan folds his arms behind his back and gives me the go ahead look.
    “I’m thinking about buying a house in Jackson.”
    Ryan sits up, moving me in the process. He rests on his elbows, me on my knees. I can’t tell if he’s upset or confused.
    “You want to live in Jackson?”
    I nod.
    “Because of me?”
    I nod.
    “Will I be able to come over?”
    I nod.
    “I think I like the idea.”
    “You do?”
    “Yeah, I mean, I still won’t have a car, but I’ll walk if I have to just to see you.”
    I run my fingers through his hair, moving his bangs away from his face. “You’ll never have to walk to see me. I’ll send a car or meet you someplace. Or hell, maybe pick you up at your house because I’m determined to win over your parents.”
    “I don’t want to talk about my parents, but I do want to talk about you buying a house here. I like this idea a lot.”
    “It was Alex’s.”
    “I think she’s going to be my best friend.”
    Ryan’s lips find mine and this is how we spend the rest of our night, into the morning. We don’t sleep, sharing kisses and covert touches. When he holds me, whispering into my ear how he feels so different with me, I want to wrap us up in a bubble and take him with me. I don’t want to leave this moment.
    When the sky turns light, we break apart. I help him clean up the used candles and put the blanket back. We walk hand in hand to my car. He kisses me quickly before he runs off down the road without looking back.
    The only reason I get behind the wheel is because in six hours I’ll be seeing him again.

CHAPTER 19
    Ryan
     
     
    Leaving Hadley at her car wasn’t my idea of fun, but I stayed out later than I had planned. My dad wakes up early on Saturdays. I intended to only be out for a little while. Oh who am I kidding? I’d still be with Hadley if I knew I’d get away with it.
    I’m trying to pace myself, but the longer I take, there’s more of a chance that my dad will be awake and looking for me.
                  When I hit my street, my biggest fear comes to life. The garage door is open, he’s awake, but his truck is gone. There’s a chance he knows I’m not home or he left earlier and didn’t look in to wake me up. I have no way of knowing. I have only one decision to make. Sneak in or walk in through the front door like nothing is amiss. 
    I do the latter. Better to face the music. Walking up the path, my mom is sitting in the living room. A vision from last night flashes before me. She’s dressed in her casual Saturday clothes of gray slacks and a white dress shirt. She’s doing a puzzle. Her table is set-up in the living room. Her hand moves slowly as she looks for a place to set the next piece. When she finds its destination, she picks up her coffee cup and takes a drink, her eyes never leaving the