Lucy in the Sky

through the gardens and out of the gates. The DJ has the party in full swing when we get back.
    ‘I was wondering where you were!’ Molly exclaims when the three of us reappear. ‘I’m about to throw the bouquet. Go on, off you go, I’m getting together all the unmarried girls.’ As Amy teeters off, Molly grabs my hand and looks at me seriously. My heart stops for a moment as I wonder if she’s worked out what’s going on. ‘Go and stand to the front right–that’s where I’ll throw it,’ she says urgently.
    ‘Okay.’ I start to walk off and she pulls me back. What now?
    ‘I mean to my right.’
    ‘Okay!’ I laugh and follow her instructions. Serious business, this bouquet throwing…
    Of course it doesn’t go anywhere near me. Amy makes a jump for it and almost falls over when she lands back down on her heels, but she doesn’t manage to grab it either. In the end it goes to one of Sam and Nathan’s young cousins from Western Australia.
    The sun is setting outside the marquee now and the guests wander out to stand by the railings and watch it sinking. ‘Where’s Lucy?’ I hear Sam’s deep voice asking. He and Molly are side by side, and both grin when they see me. ‘Lucy, come here,’ Sam says, holding his hand out to me. He wraps his arm around me and we stand there, watching as the harbour is cast in a peachy glow and the lights of the city’s business towers grow brighter.
    This reminds me of my last evening nine years ago. Only then it was a completely different brother who was filling my head. I feel like I’m going to cry again and have to furiously swallow overand over as I choke back my tears. Then someone shouts ‘Look!’ and we see the bats take flight, thousands of them–a gigantic black cloud gliding silently away from the gardens and towards the city. It’s spectacular.
    Molly and Sam turn to each other and I hang back, letting them go. The other guests are dispersing and moving towards the marquee. When I look around for Nathan I see him further down the wall, staring out at the harbour. Amy is by his side.
    It’s very distracting. Wherever I am over the next couple of hours, I’m wondering where Nathan is. I only have to be in one place for one minute before I find myself peering around to clock his position. I feel like a woman possessed. Right now he and Amy are talking to a group of young guys and girls–I think the people Amy was sitting with earlier. She’s laughing and he’s looking mildly amused. Before I can look away he catches my eye and motions me over. I’m not sure I’ll feel at ease around his friends–especially if they’re Amy’s too–but it would be weird not to go to him. I leave Jenny, Amanda and some of the other hens behind on the dance floor, being careful not to slip over in my high heels. Nathan steps aside and makes room for me in their little circle.
    ‘Guys, this is Lucy.’
    ‘Hey, Lucy!’ they all exclaim drunkenly. ‘Nice to meet you.’
    ‘You too.’
    ‘You coming tomorrow?’ a tall, cute guy with a light brown Afro asks me.
    ‘Nah, she’s flying back to England,’ Nathan chips in.
    ‘Ah, too bad,’ the cute guy says.
    I look up at Nathan questioningly. ‘It’s Barry’s birthday,’ he explains, nodding at his mate. ‘We’re having a beach party.’
    ‘Oh, I see.’ A pause. ‘Are you going?’ I ask him.
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘Yeah, mate, you’re not going to miss out on a piss-up with your pals, are ya?’ Barry says, wrapping his arm around Nathan’s neck. ‘And Ames’ll be there too,’ he adds, throwing his other arm around a radiant Amy.
    In my daydreams I’d imagined him seeing me off in the morning. Sam and Molly will have left for their honeymoon in Bali and I’ll be alone. The realisation makes me unbearably miserable.
    ‘LUCY!’ Molly interrupts loudly from the other side of the dance floor.
    ‘Nice to meet you all…’ I feel sick with disappointment as I excuse myself and go over to her.
    ‘We’re setting off to our hotel shortly,’ she says tipsily. ‘We’ll just say our goodbyes to everyone else, but don’t you go anywhere.’
    I use the opportunity to go and say farewell to Molly’s parents and Andie, who’s leaning drowsily up against her mum.
    ‘We’ll be off soon too, love. So nice that you could come. You look gorgeous!’ Sheila gushes. ‘Doesn’t she, Bruce?’
    ‘Gorgeous!’ Bruce agrees wholeheartedly.
    ‘Thank you,’ I reply, embarrassed, and bend down to