Pictures of Lily

his and Ben follows suit. ‘Happy New Year,’ Dave booms loudly, and it occurs to me he’s been here drinking for quite some time.
    ‘I didn’t know you were married,’ I say to him.
    ‘Yep. Five years and counting.’
    ‘Blimey. Five years. How old were you when you got married, then?’ I flash a look at Ben.
    ‘What was I?’ Dave asks his mate. ‘Twenty-three?’
    ‘Something like that.’ Ben looks amused. ‘Lily thinks we country folk get married and have, what do you call them – sprogs? – before our twenty-first birthdays.’
    Dave chortles and I giggle because I’ve been caught out.
    ‘We haven’t moved on to the sprogs stage yet,’ he tells me.
    ‘Give it time,’ I say ominously.
    ‘What about you, Lily? Have you got a boyfriend?’
    ‘Nope!’ I reply. ‘Young, free and single, that’s me.’
    ‘Good. That’s the way it should be,’ Dave decides happily. ‘Right – I’m off to the gents. Don’t let anyone nick my seat,’ he commands us.
    An atmosphere settles over Ben and me the moment he leaves.
    ‘Josh and the lads will be wondering where I am,’ I comment.
    ‘Don’t get in the car with him tonight.’ Ben’s tone is insistent.
    ‘Why?’ I ask boldly. ‘Are you offering to give me a lift home instead?’
    ‘I’m catching a taxi.’
    ‘Of course you are.’ I don’t know where my bitterness is coming from. ‘Don’t worry, Dad ,’ I add cruelly. ‘I’ll catch a taxi too if I have to.’
    Just then, the barman materialises in front of us. ‘Same again,’ Ben says. ‘You alright with that?’ He nods to my half-full drink.
    ‘I’m fine,’ I reply sarkily. ‘Wouldn’t want to get you into trouble with Michael.’
    ‘Don’t be like that,’ he says quietly, and I drag my reluctant eyes to meet his. The second they do, a shock zips through me. I know I should look away, but I can’t. He’s locked my gaze so intensely that we are like two magnets, drawn to each other.
    I love you. You know it. And you feel something for me, too.
    I’m overcome with a powerful urge to kiss him. He’s still staring into my eyes and it feels as if whole minutes have passed, not mere seconds.
    ‘What have I missed?’
    Our eyes dart away from each other as Dave re-emerges.
    ‘Where’s my stool?’ he asks accusingly. ‘Did you let someone take my seat?’
    ‘Aah, sorry, mate,’ Ben apologises.
    ‘Here, you can have mine.’ I leap off my stool and push it towards him.
    ‘You going already?’ Dave asks, disappointed.
    ‘I’d better get back to the others,’ I murmur.
    ‘Leave us oldies to it,’ he says humorously. I glance at Ben and feel that force pulling me in again.
    Then Dave clumps me on the back, knocking me out of myself. ‘Happy New Year, Lily!’ he shouts drunkenly. ‘Good to see you again!’
    ‘You too,’ I reply, my smile wavering. ‘Bye.’ I glance at Ben and hurriedly drop my eyes to the ground. My feet take a step towards the door, but suddenly his fingers are touching mine.
    ‘Don’t let him drive you home,’ he repeats with urgency.
    I shake my head and reply quite seriously, ‘I won’t.’
    And then I’m gone, my fingers tingling, my face burning, and every nerve-ending in my body standing on its end.

Chapter 9
     
    Ben makes love to me that night, in my dreams. His warm, strong arms encircle me and it’s hot, intense, our bodies moving together in a perfect dance. And then I wake up, shaking and feverish.
    It’s not just me; his eyes told me that last night. There is no moving on from this. I need to do something because I know he won’t.
    I have to get through a torturous Sunday on my own before I can go into work again, and on Monday the disappointment is crippling beyond belief as I realise it’s his day off. There are no guarantees that he’ll be in on Tuesday, and when there’s no sign of him in the staffroom I head to the hospital room with a heavy heart. Olivia only spent her first week at home with Ben. Now she’s been relocated here, but he’s still her primary carer. I push open the door and come face to face with him.
    ‘Hey,’ he says, avoiding my eyes. ‘Just getting her settled.’
    ‘How is she?’ I ask, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly.
    He glances at the koala amongst the blankets. ‘She’s good.’
    ‘Is she still crying at night, do you think?’
    He shakes his head. ‘I doubt it. Not much, anyway.’ He turns back to me and nods towards the door I’m blocking. ‘I’d better get