The Satanic Verses

inadequate, and Gibreel’s own portrayal of the archangel had struck many critics as narcissistic and megalomaniac. The days when he could do no wrong were gone; his second feature,
Mahound
, had hit every imaginable religious reef, and sunk without trace. ‘You see, he chochose to go with other producers,’ Sisodia lamented. ‘The greegreed of the ista ista istar. With me the if if effects always work and the good tataste also you can take for gug, grunt, granted.’ Saladin Chamcha closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. He had drunk his whisky too fast on account of his fear of flying, and his head had begun to spin. Sisodia appeared not to recall his past connection to Farishta, which was fine. That was where the connection belonged: in the past. ‘Shh shh Sridevi as Lakshmi,’ Sisodia sang out, not very confidentially. ‘Now that is sosolid gold. You are an ack actor. You should work back hohome. Call me. Maybe we can do bubusiness. This picture: solid pap pap
platinum
.’
    Chamcha’s head whirled. What strange meanings words were taking on. Only a few days ago that
back home
would have rung false. But now his father was dying and old emotions were sending tentacles out to grasp him. Maybe his tongue was twisting again, sending his accent East along with the rest of him. He hardly dared open his mouth.
    Almost twenty years earlier, when the young and newly renamed Saladin was scratching a living on the margins of the London theatre, in order to maintain a safe distance from his father; and when Changez was retreating in other ways, becoming both reclusive and religious; back then, one day, out of the blue, the father had written to the son, offering him a house. The property was a rambling mansion in the hill-station of Solan. ‘The first property I ever owned,’ Changez wrote, ‘and so it is the first I am gifting to you.’ Saladin’s instant reaction was to see the offer as a snare, a way of rejoining him to
home
, to the webs of his father’spower; and when he learned that the Solan property had long ago been requisitioned by the Indian Government in return for a peppercorn rent, and that it had for many years been occupied by a boys’ school, the gift stood revealed as a delusion as well. What did Chamcha care if the school were willing to treat him, on any visits he cared to make, as a visiting Head of State, putting on march-pasts and gymnastic displays? That sort of thing appealed to Changez’s enormous vanity, but Chamcha wanted none of it. The point was, the school wasn’t budging; the gift was useless, and probably an administrative headache as well. He wrote to his father refusing the offer. It was the last time Changez Chamchawala tried to give him anything.
Home
receded from the prodigal son.
    ‘I never forget a faface,’ Sisodia was saying. ‘You’re mimi Mimi’s friend. The
Bostan
susurvivor. Knew it the moment I saw you papa panic at the gaga gate. Hope you’re not feefeeling too baba bad.’ Saladin, his heart sinking, shook his head, no, I’m fine, honestly. Sisodia, gleaming, knee-like, winked hideously at a passing stewardess and summoned more whisky. ‘Such a shashame about Gibreel and his lady,’ Sisodia went on. ‘Such a nice name that she had, alla alla Alleluia. What a temper on that boy, what a jeajealous tata type. Hard for a momodern gaga girl. They bus bust up.’ Saladin retreated, once again, into a pretence of sleep.
I have only just recovered from the past. Go, go away
.
    He had formally declared his recovery complete only five weeks earlier, at the wedding of Mishal Sufyan and Hanif Johnson. After the death of her parents in the Shaandaar fire Mishal had been assailed by a terrible, illogical guilt that caused her mother to appear to her in dreams and admonish her: ‘If only you’d passed the fire extinguisher when I asked. If only you’d blown a little harder. But you never listen to what I say and your lungs are so cigarette-rotten that you could not blow out one candle let alone a burning house.’ Under the severe eye of her mother’s ghost Mishal moved out of Hanif’s apartment, took a room in a place with three other women, applied for and got Jumpy Joshi’s old job at the sports centre, and fought theinsurance companies until they paid up. Only when the Shaandaar was ready to reopen under her management did Hind Sufyan’s ghost agree that it was time to be off to the after-life; whereupon Mishal telephoned Hanif and asked him to