Unseen Academicals

rather like intelligent chickens, and certainly weren’t seen at their best when you watched them feeding–but once again, ‘girls’ did not seem the right word.
    ‘I have not met many girls,’ he volunteered.
    ‘There’s Glenda. She’s taken a real shine to you. Watch out, though, she’ll run your life for you if you let her. It’s what she does. She does it to everyone.’
    ‘You two have a history, I think,’ said Nutt.
    ‘You are a sharp one, aren’t you? Quiet and sharp. Like a knife. Yeah, I suppose it was a history. I wanted it to be more of a geography, but she kept slappin’ my hand.’ Trev paused to search for any flicker in Nutt’s face. ‘That was a joke,’ he added, without much hope.
    ‘Thank you for telling me, Mister Trev. I will decipher it later.’
    Trev sighed. ‘But I ain’t like that any more, and Juliet…well, I’d crawl a mile over broken glass just to hold ’er ’and, no funny business.’
    ‘Writing a poem is often the way to the intended’s heart,’ said Nutt.
    Trev brightened. ‘Ah, I’m good with words. If I wrote ’er a letter, you could give it to ’er, right? If I write it on posh paper, something like, let’s see…“I think you are really fit. How about a date? No hanky panky, promise. Luv, Trev.” How does that sound?’
    ‘The soul of it is pure and noble, Mister Trev. But, ah, if I could assist in some way…?’
    ‘It needs longer words, right? And more sort of curly language?’ said Trev.
    But Nutt was not paying attention.
    ‘Sounds lovely to me,’ said a voice above Trev’s head. ‘Who do you know what can read, smart boy?’
    There was this to be said about the Stollop brothers: they weren’t Andy. It was, in the great scheme of things, not a huge difference when you couldn’t see for blood but, in short, Stollops knew that force had always worked, and so had never bothered to try anything else, whereas Andy was a stone-cold psychopath who had a following only because it was safer than being in front of him. He could be quite charming when the frantically oscillating mood swing took him; that was the best time to run. As for the Stollops, it would not take long for a researcher to realize that Juliet was the brains of the family outfit. One advantage from Trev’s viewpoint was that they thought they were clever, because no one had ever told them otherwise.
    ‘Ha, Mister so-called Trev,’ said Billy Stollop, prodding Trev with a finger like a hippopotamus sausage. ‘You full o’ smarts, you tell us who broke the goal, right?’
    ‘I was in the Shove, Billy. Didn’t see a thing.’
    ‘He gonna play for the Dimmers?’ Billy persisted.
    ‘Billy, not even your dad at his best could throw the ball half as far as everyone is saying. You know it, right? You couldn’t do it. I’m hearing that the Angels’ post just fell apart and someone made up a story. Would I lie to you, Billy?’ Trev could make up lies that were very nearly truths.
    ‘Yeah, ’cos you’re a Dimmer.’
    ‘All right, you got me, I’ll come clean,’ said Trev, holding out his hands. ‘Respect and all that, Billy…It was Nutt here that threw that ball. That’s my last offer.’
    ‘I ought to smack your ’ead off for that,’ said Billy, sneering at Nutt. ‘That kid don’t look like he could even lift the ball.’
    And then a voice behind Trev said, ‘Why, Billy, have they let you out without your collar on?’
    Nutt heard Trev mutter, ‘Oh gods, and I was doing so well,’ under his breath, and then his friend turned and said, ‘It’s a free street, Andy. No ’arm in passin’ the time, eh?’
    ‘The Dollies killed your ol’ man, Trev. Ain’t you got no shame?’
    The rest of the Massive Posse was standing behind Andy, their expressions a mix of defiance and the realization that, once again, they were going to be dragged into something. They were out in the main streets now. The Watch was not inclined to get involved in alley scuffles, but out in the open they had to do something in case the taxpayers complained, and since tired coppers didn’t like having to do something, they did it good and hard, so with any luck they wouldn’t have to do it again any time soon.
    ‘What do you know about all this they’re saying about a Dimmer man and a Dolly tart holding hands in the Shove?’ Andy demanded. He put a heavy hand on Trev’s shoulder. ‘Come on, you’re smart, you always know everything before anyone else.’
    ‘Tart?’ That was