Volume 01 - Dirty Shorts

know.”
    “What’s a RPGM?” Zack asked. I fought the urge to introduce my palm to my face at the realization the tall, dark hottie was a total newb.
    “Role Play Game Master.” Brett spoke slowly and over-enunciated every word.
    “I’m not stupid, man, just new and don’t know acronyms yet,” Zack responded a little defensive, understandably since Brett spoke to him like he was a baby.
    “You’re new? You don’t say.” Randy sounded a little bitter, probably because we would be spending more time trying to teach Zack how to play for the next couple of weeks than we would actually playing the game. I figured with them talking I could safely steal a look at Zack without anyone noticing.
    Mission: Sneak a Peek at Zack was a Fail. When I looked up he was staring right at me. When our eyes met he just lifted his eyebrow. Fuck , he was hot. I was pretty sure that eyebrow lift was challenging me to also comment on his nonexistent RPG knowledge. I said nothing and instead just smiled slightly and lowered my head, hoping no one would notice I was starting to blush. I wasn’t sure where the idea came from, but as soon as I saw his eyebrow arch, all I could think about was running my tongue along that smooth curve. I was in trouble if I thought his brow was sexy.
    Luckily, no one was paying attention to me as Jayne took over again. “Stop being babies! Yes, this is Zack’s first time, but we were all new our first time, too. Don’t worry, Zack, I’ll make sure you understand everything and that none of these brats take advantage of your lack of experience. To start, you need to create a character, but before that we’ve got to go over the basic rules and game structure. Hopefully you’ll know what kind of character you want to create afterward. We can loan you dice, a character piece, and stuff.”
    I sat there and listened patiently as Jayne started going over all the basics. Then she started going over everything on the character sheet. Character sheets are long and Jayne would be very detailed in explaining it. Knowing it would take a while, I pulled a drawing pad out of my bag and started doodling. Unfortunately, my thoughts about Zack were pretty heavy and my doodles were turning out X-rated. I closed my pad and put it away before someone noticed what I was sketching. I should try to pay attention anyway. Even if I wasn’t ready to talk in front of Zack, I could at least try to look like I was providing moral support. I knew there was a reason to listen even if I wasn’t sure what it was.
    “Um, so are the little figures walking in a forest or something?” Zack asked, looking at the large game board on the table. It was marked with one inch squares and our three character pieces were standing on it. We could write on the board with dry erase markers and add other game objects. But the game was mostly all imagination so we tended to have a pretty blank board, mostly using it to mark character/item placements and track movements.
    “More like a deserted waste land.” Randy rolled his eyes like it should have been obvious where we were.
    “Shouldn’t there be traps or treasure chests or something?” Zack asked, examining the board closer.
    “There wouldn’t be a trap marked until after we discovered it, and we tend to raid chests when we find them, not mark it and have to go back later." Brett sounded bored and a little condescending. “Just because we can write on the board doesn’t mean we have to.”
    “Oh, well, do things at least jump out at you?” I could listen to Zack ask questions all night, but looking around the table, I was pretty sure I was the only one. Brett looked so bored I thought he might leave. Jayne seemed like she was trying not to get frustrated, scrunching her face and trying to force it to relax, but she just looked constipated. She liked to teach without being interrupted and didn’t like questions until the end. Randy just sat there coming across like, well, himself.
    “Sometimes dark and sinister creatures lurk in the shadows, waiting to strike.” Randy tried to sound eerie using his deepest voice. I watched as he grabbed his drink and started shaking it in front of the small figures in the middle of the game board. “Rawr! I’m a giant can of diet soda. Prepare to die, motherfuckers!” Then he made machine gun blasts as he used the base of the can to knock over the character pieces.
    I snorted loudly. I folded my arms on the table and rested my head on