Coda 03 -The Letter Z

side of my face. “Ang?” I open my eyes and look into his. They’re gorgeous blue, and I can see by lookin’ in ’em that he’s worried. But I can see how much he cares ’bout me too. “Ang, please tell me we’re okay.”
    We love each other so much. Why did I think that wasn’t enough? I put my arms ’round his neck and pull him down to kiss me. “Zach,” I say, “we’re absolutely perfect.”
    W E HAVE dinner with Matt and Jared. Things start out awkward. They’re walkin’ on eggshells, glancin’ at us sideways, obviously worried we’re gonna start fightin’ any moment. But it doesn’t take them long to figure out that we’re not. If anything, we’re probably gonna embarrass ’em by tearin’ each other’s clothes off right there in the restaurant. Dinner ends up bein’ fun.
    We get back to the hotel, and there, in the bar closest to the elevators, is Jonathan.
    He’s obviously been waitin’ for us, and we stop short when he approaches us. I’m sure as hell not happy to see him, but I am a little bit glad to see the bruise I left on the side of his face. Still, I can’t believe he’s come, and I’m hopin’ like hell he’s not gonna do somethin’ to fuck things up between Zach and I again.
    Like he’s readin’ my mind, he says, “I’m not here to cause trouble.” I’m thinkin’ he might cause it whether he means to or not, and I’m tryin’ hard to keep my temper in check. Zach steps in front of me—whether it’s to protect me or Jonathan, I don’t know. “I was hoping we could talk for a minute,” he says to Zach.
    “I have nothing to say to you,” Zach says coldly, and starts to push past him.
    Jonathan puts a hand on Zach’s chest to stop him, and that pisses me off even more. I want to tell him to get his fuckin’ hands off of Zach, but before I can, Zach knocks his hand away. “Don’t touch me again!”
    I can tell Jonathan is sad ’bout that, but not surprised. He holds his hands up in submission. “Zach, truly. I’m sorry.” He holds his hand out to Zach. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”
    Zach looks suspicious, but after a second, he shakes Jonathan’s hand. All he says is, “Goodbye, Jonathan.” And then he walks away. He never looks back.
    It’s pretty anticlimactic, and Jared, Matt and I are all still standin’ there, in sort of a stunned silence. Jonathan turns to Jared first. “It really was nice to meet you. I hope I didn’t ruin your vacation too much,” he says. He holds out his hand and ’course Jared smiles and shakes it.
    “You know, I have a friend in Phoenix.” Matt gives him a dirty look when he says that, but Jared ignores him. “I think I’ll tell him to look you up.”
    Jonathan smiles and says, “I’m always up for a blind date.” He holds his hand out to Matt next. Matt hesitates a second, but then they shake too.
    And then Jonathan turns to me. I’m wonderin’ if maybe he’s too good to shake hands with me, but when his eyes meet mine, there’s no challenge in ’em like I’ve seen every other time. He looks tired, and wary. And I’m surprised as hell when he says, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
    “Why the fuck would I want to talk to you?”
    He’s starin’ at the floor, and it takes him a second to answer. “There’s no reason in the world you would want to,” he says quietly. “I don’t blame you for hating me. I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes. But I would really appreciate it if you would give me just a moment of your time.” He sounds sincere, and the truth is, he’s got my curiosity up now. “Please,” he says.
    “You wanna talk to me just ’cause you think I’m an easy lay?’” I ask.
    His cheeks turn bright red, and he says, “No.”
“You gonna tell me how I’m no good for Zach?”
“No.”
“You gonna tell me how you deserve him more than me?” “No.”
“Yes.”
He looks confused at that. “Yes? What do you mean? Yes, what?” “Yes, I’ll talk to you for a minute.”
    Jared heads for the elevator, but Matt stays where he is, standin’ next to me. I look over at him, and he says, “I’m staying.”

    “I don’t need a babysitter,” I say, but we both know I’m not makin’ any guarantees.
    He gives me that half-ass grin he gets, with one eyebrow up, and says, “We’ll see, hothead.” He walks over to the other end of the bar, out of earshot, and sits down.
    “All right, man. I’m listenin’. What the fuck you want?”
    To my