Light in the Shadows

angsty cliff of teenage drama.
     
                     Sure the level of gossiping had subsided a bit, but it was still there.  And I knew people still looked at me as “the girl whose boyfriend had tried to off himself.” 
     
                       So I had purposefully avoided social functions as much as possible.  Sure, I was moving on into my Post-Clay existence.  But it was slow going.  And approaching that front door, I knew, deep down that the party was a bad idea.  But I had forced myself to suck it up. 
     
                      And darned if I hadn’t been right.  While it had been great to see Claire (I had been a bad friend to more than just Rachel and Danny), the rest of it well and truly sucked a fat one.  Jake had found me seconds after my arrival and seemed to take it upon himself to be my party guide.  It was like he was my escort at a freaking debutante ball or something.  Taking me around to groups of people I could give a shit about talking to.  He was so persistent in me having a good time that it bordered on pushy and annoying.  But I had grit my teeth and pushed down the urge to tell him to back the hell off.  I smiled, I made asinine chit chat.  I was the belle of the crappy ball. 
     
                      Rachel and Danny had been there, which always made things better.  And for a moment I thought I had succeeded in salvaging the night.  I had convinced my jangled nerves to take a hike and I was actually able to engage in semi-comfortable conversation with people who I hadn’t talked to in months.  That’s right, one point for socially competent Maggie Young!
     
                    Then Dana ‘I wanted to bang your boyfriend’ Welsh had pissed all over my quite enjoyable parade.  That bitch was lying in wait to bring the smack down. 
     
                     She had sneered at me with Jake’s arm slung around my shoulders.  She had tossed her obnoxiously shiny hair over her shoulder and laughed.  “Jake, I’d watch out if I were you…I hear crazy is contagious.”  Her evil henchman, i.e. “friend” McKenna had giggled beside her like a deranged hyena.
     
                      Jake had tensed up and stared at the evil duo.  “Excuse me?” he had asked, as though he couldn’t believe what she had just said.  But give me a break, as if her rudeness was surprising.  Dana had simply shrugged.
     
                      “Well, she’s already made one guy want to kill himself.”  Dana and McKenna had laughed as though that were the funniest thing ever.  I could feel the blood leave my face and I had felt faintly nauseous.  As much as I was trying to channel the old Maggie, the one that would have jumped their shit like white on rice, I just couldn’t summon her.  So I stood there dumbfounded, my mouth hanging open with the snappy comeback that never came. 
     
                  Jake had jumped to my defense; which I should have appreciated.  But what did I do?  Oh yeah, I just walked away.  Miss I hate bullies, took off with my tail between my legs.  Maybe that was letting the mean girls win but all I had cared about was getting my ass home as quickly as possible. 
     
                      I looked up from my artistic potato mountains and rolled my eyes.  “Sorry, just wasn’t my scene.” I brushed off my friend’s very obvious concern.  Daniel frowned and looked as though he wanted to say something else but Rachel cut him off.
     
                      “Well, you didn’t miss much.  Except for Ray puking all over the kitchen,” Rachel said, shuddering. 
     
                      “Yuck.  Seriously?”  I pushed my tray away, and crossed my arms on the table.  I watched a little wistfully as Daniel opened up a Snicker’s bar and handed it to Rachel.  She took it and gave him a sweet smile in thanks.  He ran his fingers up her arm, stopping to brush her hair off of her shoulder.  Seeing the way his hand lingered on her skin made my throat close up and my eyes start to burn.
     
                     Their absolute love and affection for each other, while totally beautiful and deserved, still had me looking away before I succumbed to my tears.  I hated that I couldn’t just be happy for them.  But it was really hard seeing such devotion when my life was