Light in the Shadows

to tremble with the intense anticipation.  Clay uncurled his fingers from around mine and moved them into my hair; digging them into the thick waves and holding tight.
                    “You are everything good in my life.  Even when I thought all I had was the darkness, you were there.  And you gave me something to live for.  I couldn’t let you go.  No matter how hard I tried.  I know now that’s because to lose you would be losing the very best part of myself.”  I opened my eyes to see Clay staring back at me, tears sliding down his face.  He leaned in and his lips a whisper as they closed in. 
                    “I love you, Maggie.  More than you could ever possibly understand.” Clay tightened his grip in my hair and slammed his mouth over mine.  I rose up on my knees and pressed my chest into his.  His tongue plunged passed my lips.  Not a gentle probing.  This was a passionate invasion and my body quivered with desire. 
                  I let go of Clay’s face so I could wrap my arms around him, holding him as tightly as he held me.  Our mouths slanted over each other time and time again, our breathing heavy and erratic.  My heart beat wildly behind my ribcage. 
      When Clay’s mouth moved away from mine to start a tortuous path of light kisses and loving nips along the side of my neck, I let out a deep and guttural groan.  I should have been mortified with the way I responded to him.  But we were way passed embarrassment. 
                    Clay’s hands left my hair and clutched at the back of my shirt, pulling it up to find bare skin.  And then we were touching and tasting.  There was not one ounce of hesitation or reticence in our actions.  This was the culmination of months of desperate longing. 
                    When we finally came up for air, our lips bruised and swollen, we could only stare at each other.  Clay ran his hand along the side of my face.  “How could I ever think life without you would be worth living?” he asked, seemingly mystified.
                    I grinned, brimming with the delicious high of Clay’s kisses.   “Stop trying to find out.” I kissed him lightly on the mouth again.  I couldn’t tear myself away.  Now that I had allowed myself to climb over the wall, there was no way I was turning back now.
                    Because right then, in the heat of the moment, it was so easy to forget the mountain of issues that had nearly destroyed us the last time.  But when we finally separated and Clay pulled me into his arms and back onto his bed, I knew I couldn’t go into this blind again.  My eyes needed to be open and aware.  We had come too far, lost too much and I wouldn’t make the same mistakes again.
                    Clay’s fingers made lazy trails through the thick heaviness of my hair and the quiet comfort was just as intoxicating as our moment of passion.  “We have a lot to talk about, Maggie.  A lot that needs to be said.  We can’t pick up where we left off; because that was a place I never want to be again.”  Clay’s words were hard and bitter but I understood where he was coming from.
                    I propped up on my elbow and looked down at him.  “I know.  We have to do it right this time,” I said, tracing the line of his eyebrows with my fingertip.  Clay grabbed my hand and placed a kiss into the open palm. 
                    “We will.  We have to.  Because the alternative isn’t one I can live with.  Not anymore.”  I started to kiss him again when my phone buzzed in my pocket.  We groaned simultaneously and then gave each other silly smiles. 
                    I had received a new text message.  It was from my dad, asking where I was.  I didn’t have much time before he came over here, guns blazing. Particularly when I was engaging in the very behavior he didn’t want for me. “Shit.” I jumped up and straightened my clothes and ran my fingers though my hair.
                    “I’ve got to get home.  Dad ordered pizza,” I explained lamely as Clay sat up.  He grabbed me by the back of the knees and tugged me forward until I stood between his legs.  He looked up at me and the grin on his face made being late for dinner so completely worth it.
                    “Can I call you?  Later?” he asked