Light in the Shadows

had been about me and my crap.  This time, I wanted to focus on Maggie. 
                    My fingers flexed around hers as we walked through the front doors of the school.  I swear to God, it was like everyone within a twenty foot radius ground to a halt and watched our progress down the hall. 
                  I caught the firm lift of Maggie’s chin as though she were defying everyone.  Daring them to say something.  And God help them if they did.  Because my girl was fierce and I would place my money on her any day.
                    I tried not to give a shit.  What did these people mean in the grand scheme of my life?  Not when the girl I would walk over burning, hot coals for was holding my hand.  It really was all about the simple stuff.  The bigger things, like my crazy, fucked up head shit could be put on hold for a little while longer.
                    We stopped at her locker while she twisted the dial.  I could see the tremors in her hand and I knew this was taking a lot out of her.  And I realized that I didn’t know what she had to endure while I was in Florida.  How much bullshit she had to swallow on a daily basis.  But by the tension in her shoulders and the clench of her jaw, I could tell it had been a lot.  And I felt even more like an ass for abandoning her the way that I had.
                    Here I was, the King of Abandonment issues, dishing it out with the worst of them.  I had to make this better if it was the last thing I did.
                    “Do you have any plans for Friday night?” I asked her, shoving my hands into the pocket of my coat.  The old green army jacket that I had worn like a second skin had long been lost.  Left in that hotel room in North Carolina with the rest of the stuff I would never see again.  Getting my shit out of the place where I had nearly destroyed everything hadn’t been high on my list of priorities.  But damned if I didn’t miss the stupid thing.  It was just a coat but for some reason it was like leaving a piece of me behind.
                    It really was ridiculous at how sentimental I became about the most inconsequential objects.
                  Maggie gave me a shy smile.  This new, more reserved Maggie Young was hard to get used to at times.  The Maggie I had met all those months ago was in your face.  She didn’t hesitate to tell you what she was thinking, even if it hurt.  She wasn’t ever cruel; she just lacked any patience for games.  And that’s one of the million things I loved about her.
                    This Maggie was different.  She seemed unsure and hesitant.  She appeared to think before she spoke as though worried about the way her words would be received. 
                    This Maggie made it her mission to disappear.  And I hated that.  Because I knew deep down that it was because of me.  I had changed Maggie May Young in ways I had yet to understand. 
                    I didn’t love her any less for it.  In fact I loved her more than I thought my heart was capable of.  But it didn’t stop the all too familiar sting of regret deep in my gut. 
                    I reached out and tucked a fly away strand of dark brown hair behind her ear.  Her shorter hair took some getting used to.  Just another example of how much my girl had changed in the three short months we had been a part.
                    But they might as well have been three years and I had a lot to make up for.
                    “No plans,” she said quietly, stuffing her bag into the locker and grabbing her books for class. 
                    I cupped the side of her neck and tugged her closer.  I kissed the tip of her nose, making her blush.  It was beautiful the way her skin flushed when I touched her.  “I’d like to take you out,” I said, grinning at her.
                    “Like a date?” Maggie asked incredulously.  I felt that jab of regret again, her surprise hitting me like a slap in the face.  Regret was quickly replaced by guilt.  I suddenly realized that we had never exactly gone out on a date.  Before , we had spent most of our time at my house or Ruby’s shop.  Sure, we went to Bubbles for sundaes and we’d rent movies.  But I had not once taken her on a proper date.